I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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