My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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