we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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