worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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