I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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