were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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