That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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