Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
