Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
