when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
