Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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