They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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