Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
