I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
