she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
