So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
