It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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