wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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