I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
