I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
