nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
