big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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