Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
