Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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