...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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