I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
