grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
