Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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