ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
