So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
