Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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