What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
