Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
