you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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