I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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