Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
