My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
MIDGETS
????
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
