hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
