Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
