I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
