have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
