Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
