like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
