Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is Oprah even human
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
