Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
