Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
