so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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