Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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