Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
