just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
